With all the buzz around Sex and the City 2, I can’t help but become driven into a fantastical jealousy around how Ms. Carrie Bradshaw wound up with it all–the clothes, the career, the friends and the great love. Yes, I know its fiction, but trust me, in New York City, people like her exist. They have the fancy job barely blogging for Vogue, are friends with all the “right” people, have a keen sense of personal style with a clothing budget to boot, have  a natural size 2 figure, but diet and exercise to keep it down to a 0, oh, and the handsome fiance doting on their every move at fancy exhibition opening, launch party or luncheon. That’s not to say they haven’t worked for it, haven’t earned it, but what sepearates them from the average gal trying to find love and Louboutin’s in NYC?

Is it possible that they just made every right choice? That when they met Mr. Right they sealed him in like clear epoxy to wood?

Are their words more poignant or witty? I have my contemporary literary heros–David Sedaris and Augusten Borroughs leading the list–but even with inspirations among me, my writing swan dives instead of creating scintillating swirls. My grammar sucks too.

I look through magazines and vintage racks just drooling over malleable works or art that seem to drape over my curvy hips so perfectly in my mind–when I try them on I look like an over stuffed sausage bursting out of it’s casing. At a size 4 I can’t really call myself fat, but Lauren Santo Domingo I am not. (She wears clothes like salt on a Patron-filled margarita, a little extra flavor on something that’s already perfection.)

And if I keep the hope of Carrie Bradshaw in my mind, how many more mediocre blogs do I have to post before I strike gold? When I not only have a Park Avenue apartment with a closet full of vintage, couture, and Manolos, but the 3 girl friends by my side through it all, a best-selling novel, and a wealthy husband that loves me. Am I stupid to believe that you can really “have it all?” That maybe the Carrie Bradshaw’s of the world just worked their way to a TV-land existence? That even if I didn’t make all the right decisions, there’s still that chance to turn my half full glass into a full one…